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E-MAIL & WEB-SAFETY TIPS:

Here are some great articles about basic E-mail safety and Web tips information about how to deal with chain letters, hoaxes, rumors, urban legends, phishing, scams, fraud, spam, spoofing, and hidden viruses.

Welcome to Arizona Profiling, "Birth Certificate...Proof of Citizenship..." President Obama being pulled over by police in desert with billboard in background. Editorial cartoon illustration humor copyright Dave Granlund.

Contributed by Ernie Salgado Jr.

10. My old man is sitting out 90 days in the Tribal jail...!
9. Call me when you get back from hunting and I'll dry your deer meat for you!
8. You were the only one I heard hit that high note at the '49!
7. I don't care if you lost your first two games, you're my tourney MVP!
6. Don't you ride bulls with my cousin?!
5. Would you like me to braid your hair before grand entry?!
4. You look GOOD in Wranglers!
3. Do you like homemade tortillas?!
2. Aren't you that one guy that was in "Dances With Wolves?!"

And the number one Rez woman pick-up line is:

1. Would you like to lick the fry bread grease off of my lips???

TOP TEN REZ PICK-UP LINES (Used by men)

10. I heard you butcher so goot the dogs don't even get scraps!
9. When I look at you, you just make me feel...somehow!
8. Schhhtttt'
7. You're even prettier than that girl in "Smoke Signals!"
6. Don't you barrel race with my cousin?
5. Really? You made that meal with commodities?
4. Wanna see all the belt buckles I won at INFR?
3. You don't have to pay me back, just split some with me if you Bingo!
2. Your pottery could win Best of Show at Indian Market!"

And the number one Rez woman pick-up line is:

1. Weren't you Miss Indian World that one year?

Contributed by Ernie Salgado Jr.

You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

- Dean Martin (Actor, comedian, 1917-1995)

People say I don't take criticism well, but I say, what the hell do they know?

- Groucho Marx (Commedian, 1890-1977)

We can't Blame White People any Longer, by Bill Cosby

"They're standing on the corner and they can't speak English.
I can't even talk the way these people talk:

"Why you ain't,
Where you is,
What he drive,
Where he stay,
Where he work,
Who you be...".

And I blamed the kid until I heard the mother talk.
And then I heard the father talk....

Contributed by Ernie Salgado Jr.

What a profound short statement that says it all:

"You cannot legislate the poor into freedom by legislating the wealthy out of freedom.  What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else.

When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that my dear friend, is about the end of any nation.  You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it."

-Dr. Adrian Rogers, 1931

Contributed by Ernie Salgado Jr.

The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.

- George Carlin

When in doubt, have two guys come through the door with guns.

- Raymond Chandler (Writer, 1888-1959)

On the need for eternal vigilance to protect liberty, from the "Times of London," Aug. 11, 1846:

The greatest tyranny has the smallest beginnings. From precedents overlooked, from remonstrances despised, from grievances treated with ridicule, from powerless men oppressed with impunity, and overbearing men tolerated with complaisance, springs the tyrannical usage which generations of wise and good men may hereafter perceive and lament and resist in vain.

At present, common minds no more see a crushing tyranny in a trivial unfairness or a ludicrous indignity, than the eye uninformed by reason can discern the oak in the acorn, or the utter desolation of winter in the first autumnal fall. Hence the necessity of denouncing with unwearied and even troublesome perseverance a single act of oppression. Let it alone, and it stands on record. The country has allowed it, and when it is at last provoked to a late indignation it finds itself gagged with the record of its own ill compliance.

Contributed by Ernie Salgado Jr.

When told the reason for daylight savings time the Old Indian said, "Only the government would believe that you could cut a foot off the top of a blanket, sew it to the bottom, and have a longer blanket."

Contributed by Ernie Salgado Jr.

You don't know anything about a woman until you meet her in court.

-Norman Mailer

PARKING TICKETS (and old people)

Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting. 

Well, for example, the other day my wife and I went into town and went into a shop.  We were only in there for about 5 minutes, and when we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. 

We went up to him and said, "Come on man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?"

He ignored us and continued writing the ticket.

I called him a Nazi turd.  He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tires. 

So my wife called him a shit-head.

He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket.

This went on for about 20 minutes. The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote. 

Personally, we didn't care.  We came into town by bus and the car had an Obama sticker.

We try to have a little fun each day now that we're retired. It's important at our age. 

Contributed by Ernie Salgado Jr.

Subject: Windfall Tax on Retirement Income

Windfall Tax on Your Retirement Income and give it to illegal aliens? This is insane, what will they try next?

Nancy Pelosi, Speaker of the House Website.

Adding a tax to your retirement is simply another way of saying to the American people, you're so darn stupid that we're going to keep doing this until we drain every cent from you. That's what the Speaker of the House is saying.

Nancy Pelosi wants a Windfall Tax on Retirement Income.  In other words tax what you have made by investing toward your retirement. This woman is a nut case! You aren't going to believe this.

Madam speaker Nancy Pelosi wants to put a Windfall Tax on all stock market profits (including Retirement fund, 401K and Mutual Funds! Alas, it is true - all to help the 12 Million Illegal Immigrants and other unemployed Minorities!

This woman is frightening.

She quotes... "We need to work toward the goal of equalizing income (didn't Marx say something like this?), in our country and at the same time limiting the amount the rich can invest."  (I am not rich, are you?)

When asked how these new tax dollars would be spent, she replied:

"We need to raise the standard of living of our poor, unemployed and minorities. For example, we have an estimated 12 million illegal immigrants in our country who need our help along with millions of unemployed minorities. Stock market windfall profits taxes could go a long way to guarantee these people the standard of living they would like to have as 'Americans'."

Read that quote again and again and let it sink in:

"Lower your retirement, give it to others who have not worked as you have for it."  

Send this on to your friends. I just did!! This woman is out of her mind and she is the speaker of the house!

Contributed by Ernie Salgado Jr.